What My Early 30s (and Motherhood) Have Taught Me
What My Early 30s (and Motherhood) Have Taught Me
Tomorrow, I turn 33.
When I turned 30, I wrote a blog post about the things I would tell my younger self. Looking back on it now, I still agree with so many of those lessons: don’t take everything so seriously, stay calm, ask for help, stop trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
But the last three years have changed me in ways I never could have anticipated.
I became a mother.
And now, standing on the edge of welcoming baby girl number two, I can confidently say that motherhood has been the most transformative season of my life. The hardest? Absolutely. The most exhausting? Without question. I have the under-eye bags to prove it.
But also the most joyful.
Somewhere along the way, motherhood made me playful again. It reintroduced wonder into my life.
Disney movies are back in rotation. Walks around the neighborhood feel different now. I stop to notice the pink flowers because Addy notices the pink flowers. I hear the birds chirping because she points at the sky and says, “Birdies!”
Children slow you down in the most beautiful way.
In a world constantly pushing us toward more — more success, more money, more productivity, more comparison — I think children gently pull us back toward what actually matters. They remind us that beauty exists exactly where we are planted. Not in the next milestone. Not in the next paycheck. Not in keeping up with everyone else.
Just here.
So as I reflect on my early 30s — on motherhood, marriage, friendship, health, and growing into myself a little more each year — here are a few lessons I’d add to the list.
1. Stay Curious & Ask Questions
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my 30s is this: if something feels off, ask questions.
Ask your doctor.
Ask your friends.
Ask for another opinion.
Ask “why?”
I think so many women are conditioned to downplay discomfort or convince themselves they’re overreacting. But curiosity is powerful.
The older I get, the more I realize that asking questions is not being dramatic — it’s being wise.
2. Be Your Own Health Advocate
Motherhood changed my body in ways I expected and in ways I didn’t.
After having Addy, I had to learn how important it was to replenish nutrients, move my body again, and take care of myself in a sustainable way. But I also had experiences that forced me to advocate harder for my health.
Last summer, I dealt with six weeks of waking up in the middle of the night covered in hives. I had to push for allergy testing. I had to push to be seen. I had to push beyond quick fixes and ask doctors to look deeper.
The same thing happened while navigating fertility and trying for baby number two. I was shocked by how little I knew about women’s fertility health until I was suddenly living inside those questions myself.
There is so much power in understanding your body and speaking up when something doesn’t feel right.
3. It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Maybe this is the former “I can handle everything myself” girl in me talking, but wow — motherhood humbled me quickly.
It is a lot to be a mom, wife, friend, coworker, daughter, and still somehow remain yourself in the process.
You do not have to carry all of it alone.
People actually like being asked for help. They like being included. They like showing up for you.
And honestly? Asking for help has made me a softer person. A more connected person.
4. There Is So Much Power in Community
I genuinely don’t know how people parent without community.
Having a village changes everything.
My best friends and I started doing weekly co-parenting dinners where our girls play together while we eat, catch up, and get a little adult interaction in the middle of the chaos. It sounds simple, but it has been incredible for my mental health.
The kids are happier.
We’re happier.
And motherhood feels far less isolating.
Humans were never meant to do life alone.
5. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
I used to think self-care had to be extravagant to count.
Now? Sometimes it’s just a quiet neighborhood walk alone with a podcast. A massage booked before I talk myself out of it. Getting my nails done. Sitting in silence for ten minutes.
Small things matter.
Taking care of myself has helped me show up better for everyone else around me — and it reminds me that underneath the motherhood and responsibilities, I’m still Hope.
6. Fall Back in Love With Your Childhood Hobbies
One of the most unexpected joys of my 30s has been rediscovering old hobbies.
For me, it’s been reading.
I forgot how much I love getting completely transported into another world through a book. Instead of scrolling endlessly at night, I’ve started reaching for novels again. I flew through the Sarah J. Maas series, and it reminded me how good it feels to be immersed in a story.
I also subscribed to physical magazines again — TIME and Condé Nast Traveler — because I wanted a slower, more intentional way to consume news and inspiration that wasn’t tied to a screen.
Maybe growing older isn’t about becoming someone entirely new. Maybe it’s also about reconnecting with the parts of yourself you lost somewhere along the way.
I think that’s a pretty beautiful thing.
So here’s to 33.
To slowing down enough to notice the flowers.
To protecting your health.
To community dinners.
To bedtime stories.
To asking for help.
To becoming softer.
To becoming wiser.
To becoming more yourself with every passing year.
And to the little girls who made me see the world differently. 🤍
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